Sassiness?? What??

Ok, so I found out that "yes," I was apparently sassy at a young age, BUT... my mother did tell me that I didn't talk back as much and I definitely didn't order her around, like my 4 year old does to me. I was relieved to hear this, but a little disappointed, because I thought she could give me a remedy for my problem.
She did however point out that my 4 year old was the first child and she was extremly spoiled (in a good way,if there is such a thing?) and that I should just try to be patient with her, because they sense our hostility and feed on our frustration. So... patience is being worked on... but in the mean time, how do I get her to understand what "no!" means. Its not a complicated word, No, No No. I can say and understand it over and over, but for some reason my child can't understand it. She does however understand the following words... "ridiculous, gross, disgusting, whatever and why and not?" Seriously... hopefully she just knows how to say these words, and doesn't understand them, but then she uses them in a sentence and I'm back to square one.
So... many people choose not to spank their children and I'm not getting into any discussions on right or wrong on this blog, but I have decided that it doesn't work for us, so we're moving on to other options. Many told me that sending them to "time out" was a fabulous solution for their children, but she argues with me about going to time out and tries to rationalize why she shouldn't go... can you say future politician, sometimes it takes so long for me to get her into time out, that I give up... YOU WIN! That is the downfall of all parents, they get clumped into the "giver inners" group! Sometimes you have to give in, pick your battles! I usually have to get my day planner out each night to decide which battles I'm going to lose the next day... so so aggravating!
My Doc told me to try "First time punishment" which basically means either you get a spanking, go to your room, sit in time out or whatever your pleasure for punishment the first time they don't listen.
Well... we never listen the first time. So I have been trying to work on this, but again with the arguing over punishment, it takes all my energy and just ends up being a screaming match... I tell myself everyday... "today, no yelling!" At the end of the day, I always say, "We'll try again tomorrow!" I feel like a bad parent... ugh!
I don't know maybe everyone goes through this at one point during being a parent, and maybe my time is now. Who knows? I probably didn't give anyone any good advice today, because I don't have any answers. I did however learn that every child is different, so not every tactic works for every parent. My advice is try whatever comes natural and hopefully the rest will fall into place eventually. I will say that my child is loving and sweet and I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck!


OMG my child is just like me! Help! I always said that I never wanted any child to become "me!" It's happened and I don't know what to do about it! I really can't believe it! What have I done.... 
Next week on DUN DUN DUUUNNNN... Causey Corporation. I just thought that was funny! See you soon!